Judging A Book
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Sara finds out that Brass is dating Sophia. She is against this. As she tried to cope with this tragic circumstances end a dream. (NOTE: Brass is Sara's father)


Grissom looked at me as I moved around the lab where we were working on evidence. He noticed my fidgety behavior for a few days. I sighed sitting down on a stool writing on a report as he looked over a plaid shirt.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked

I looked at him confused.

"About what?"

"What is bothering you?" He asked

"No." I said, writing again.

He looked at me. I rubbed my head then I looked at him.

"Have you spoken to dad lately?"

"No." He said

"He just told me he is dating Sophia Curtis." I said

"Really?" He said

"Yes."

"That bothers you?" He asked

"Yes, I don't like her." I said

"Honey, if Brass is happy then you should be to." He said

"What if they get married?" I asked

"Sara, calm down. This may not last, but if it does then we will have to accept it."

I sighed rubbing my throbbing head still not happy.

After shift I walked over to the police station looking for Brass. He came out of his office locking the door turning to see me.

"Hey." He said

"Hey." I said

He put his arm on my back walking with me back to the lab.

"So, what's up?" He asked

"Why are you dating Sophia?" I asked

He stopped looking at me.

"She makes me happy." He said "I know this has been hard on you."

"Dad, she is not a good person!"

He pulled me to a quiet corner of the hallway.

"Sara, I understand that you aren't happy about this. You feel like I betrayed you." He said, pushing back hair from my right side of my face. "If you recall I was not a good person either years ago."

I looked down as he touched my arm.

"I'm sorry." I said

He made me lift my head.

"You and Ellie are the most important people in my life. I love you, but it's time for me to have some happiness."

I hugged him as he hugged me.

"Are we okay?"

I moved back nodding. He kissed my head then we went our separate ways. I still hated Sophia, but I understood dad's side.

Grissom and I went home to eat and go to bed. I stayed awake thinking about dad and Sophia.

The next shift I went to work without Grissom as he had a meeting to go to. At break, Sophia walked into the breakroom smiling and waving at me as I sat on the couch eating a sandwich. She got some coffee as her phone went off. I listened to her answer.

"Hey." She said

She began to laugh as I rolled my eyes.

"I had fun to. We will have to do it again."

I got up walking out feeling sick inside.

Grissom met me at the front desk noting the frown on my face. He took my arm leading me outside. I stopped looking over in shock seeing Sophia and my dad kissing at the curb. Grissom looked then he looked at me. Sophia and he were oblivious to us.

I touched my stomach feeling sick. Grissom pulled me to the car. He got in looking at me as I held my head leaning against the door. We didn't talk at all when we got home. I went straight to bed as he ate then came to bed.

Grissom and I went in early the next shift. I ate some toast before work still feeling bad inside. Grissom went to his office as I went to the locker room to get my things. I opened my locker hearing someone giggle in the next room. The shower was on.

I closed my locker hearing a moan. Slowly I walked around the corner hearing two people moaning and I froze.

"Oh Jim!" The female said

I walked over to the closed stall opening it seeing something I never wanted to see. I backed up running out as fast as I could. Grissom watched me enter his room and throw up in his trash can. He stood walking over kneeling down holding my hair back.

"What's happened?" Grissom asked

I breathed in and out fast standing with his help.

"I…saw….I saw…..!"

"Saw what?"

"Brass…. with…..Sop….Sophia!"

Grissom sat me on the couch in the corner as I continued to breath fast.

"Calm down." He said, rubbing my back. "Deep breaths."

I tried to do what he wanted.

"Slow breaths." He said

I swallowed feeling my breathing slow down.

"That's it."

He pulled me against him as I clutched his coat hearing a knocking at his door.

"Let me get rid of this person." He said

I let him go laying down. He opened the door seeing Brass dressed looking worried.

"Gil, is Sara in there?" He asked

Grissom closed the door gently.

"Yes, I don't think you should talk to her just yet."

Brass rubbed his head sighing.

"This was a huge mistake!" He said

"I think it would be a good idea if you two took this relationship to your homes after shift was over."

"I know, you're right."

"Just give her some time."

"I will, see you later." Brass said, walking away. Grissom opened the door coming back in seeing that I was sleeping. He got his phone out taking the trash can outside.

I woke later sitting up as Grissom was signing a paper at his desk. He rubbed his chin looking over at me. I stood on wobbly legs.

"You okay?" He asked

I nodded walking to the closed door.

"Where are you going?" He asked

"I am hungry." I said

"I'll go with you." He said, getting up.

"You don't have to babysit me." I said

"I am hungry to." He said

I walked out as he opened the door. We went to the breakroom seeing it was empty. He got an apple as I got my sandwich from the fridge. I sat down on the couch eating as he walked over sitting beside me.

Sophia came in stopping as she looked at us. I looked somewhere else as she walked over.

"Sara, I am so sorry you saw….Jim and I."

I felt vile come up again. I got up running to the trash can by the door throwing up. Grissom came over he looked at Sophia motioning her to leave. She looked at me heaving then she walked out.

Grissom was worried when I refused to eat another thing. He walked out with me at the end of shift seeing Brass running over to see me. I grabbed hold of Grissom hiding my face in his neck.

"Sara, can we talk?"

"Jim, I don't think now is a good time." Grissom said, holding me against him.

"Please just let me speak." He said

Grissom watched me lift my head looking at Brass.

"Honey, I am so sorry about what you saw. I promise it will never happen again." He said "Sophia and I realize how uneasy this has been making you and we don't want you to feel that way."

I touched my stomach as Grissom put his hand on my hand.

"Okay." I said

He pulled me to him in a hug. I watched him go then I looked at Grissom. He smiled a little taking me to our car. I tried to sleep, but I kept seeing them in the shower stall. I got up walking to the kitchen getting some water. Vile again pushed its way up and I threw up water all over the kitchen floor. I fell to the floor on my knees heaving. My stomach was burning with acid. I stumbled into the bedroom holding my stomach. I found some stomach acid pills in the bathroom taking them. They started to work, and I laid back down.

Grissom was talking on his phone as I came out dressed for work. He turned seeing me noting how white I had become. He grabbed my arm making me face him.

"Okay, that's fine. Let me know. Bye." He said, hanging up.

I watched him look me over.

"Sara, you don't look well."

"I just need to toast." I said

"Is it your stomach?" He asked, following me to the kitchen.

"I'm fine."

He made me look at him.

"You are not all right."

I made him let me go.

"Stop!" I said

He silently watched me make toast then I ate it slowly. We went to work, and he put me on standby since Nick and Greg took over the case. I walked around feeling a little better. Brass walked over seeing me walking the hallway.

"Gil told me you have been sick a lot." He said

"It's better." I said, lying.

"You look very pale." He said

"I'm fine." I said

He nodded not believing me. His phone went off and I walked past waving at him feeling his eyes on me as I walked.

Sophia asked me to help her on the solo case she was on after break. I felt my stomach rebel again. I put on gloves and looked at the car she was working on.

"Sara, I am glad you could help me, because I wanted to talk to you about your dad and I."

I looked over at her.

"We don't have to." I said

"I want to. Jim and I talked about getting married. I know it's a rush, but we feel so happy together and I…."

I stood looking at her.

"M…. married?"

"Yeah, are you okay with that?" She asked

My world exploded as she said that.

"Sara?"

I dropped my flashlight on the floor as she called my name. I ran outside feeling faint. I made myself go to the side of the building falling on the hot cement. Grissom ran outside minutes later finding me.

"Sara!" He said, lifting me up against him.

I opened my eyes hearing Grissom doing something. He lifted a water bottle to my lips and I drank it. I coughed as he lowered it. His lips went to my head as I closed my eyes breathing slowly.

Grissom closed his eyes kissing my head again.

"Brass and I talked about this. Sophia shouldn't have told you." He said

I opened my eyes looking down.

"It's going to be okay."

I didn't acknowledge him as I shut down. He took me to the doctors and they said I had acid reflux. I was given pills then we went home. I laid on my side in bed as he talked to someone on the phone in the living room.

He came in sitting on the bed touching my cheek.

"How about some soup?" He asked

I touched his hand on my cheek shaking my head. He sighed getting up leaving. The next day Brass came to the house talking to Grissom then he came in alone seeing me in bed. He sat down touching my hand. I opened my eyes seeing him.

"Hey baby."

I slowly moved my arms wanting him to hug me. He leaned over hugging me lifting me up against him.

"I was so worried about you." He said

I moved searching his face.

"You will always be my baby." He said

"Are you really going to marry her?" I asked

He sighed touching my pale cheek.

"Yes."

I searched his eyes.

"I love her."

"Then I…. will learn to like her."

He hugged me then he left for work. I laid back in bed staring at the wall infront of me. Grissom came in climbing into bed holding me.

The medicine started to work in my system and I was able to eat. Sophia and Brass had decided on the day and where they would marry at, but never told us about it. I walked into the lab she was working with Greg on a Monday.

"Hey Sara." Greg said

"Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you Sophia?" I asked

She looked at me dropping her things to come out in the hallway to face me.

"What's up?" She asked

"Grissom and I were wondering when the big event was and where do you want your bridal shower at?"

"Jim and I talked about it and we decided to have an informal wedding at the courthouse."

"Oh, well what time is it?"

"No one is invited. We just want to do this by ourselves. I hope you don't mind."

I stared at her a moment.

"No, it's okay."

"Great." She said, walking back into the lab.

When we came home the first thing I did was march into the kitchen getting a bottle of Grissom's wine and drink some in a glass. Grissom came in seeing this. He sat down on a stool at the island watching me pour and drink.

"No wedding!" I said, before drinking more. "We aren't invited!"

"Sara." He said

"This is just the beginning! When she comes into the family I won't have a dad anymore. She will exclude me out of everything." I said, pouring again. "He won't care because she will be calling the shots!"

Grissom walked over taking the bottle from me as I gulped down some more.

"Sara, I am sure that Jim feels differently."

"I should go over there and talk to him." I said

"I don't think that is a wise thing to do." He said

"No, it's a great idea!" I said, walking past him to the front door.

"You are not going anywhere after drinking wine." He said, coming over to me.

"You can drive me."

"No, you are staying here."

He pulled me away from the door.

The next day Grissom held me back as we saw Sophia walking towards us with a paper.

"Gil, here are the results." She said, handing him the paper. She smiled at me as I smiled back. "Sara, your father and I want you and Grissom to come have dinner with us after work."

"I don't think we can make it." I said

"This looks good, and we can." He said, looking at me.

"Great! We'll be at the diner."

I glared at Grissom as he watched her go then he looked at me.

"What was that?" I asked

"Peace offering." He said, leading me down the hallway.

We arrived at the diner seeing dad and Sophia in a both in the corner laughing and holding each other.

I looked at them as Grissom walked over pulling me to the front door. We sat down across from them. I listened the conversation around the table but avoided talking. Sophia went to the bathroom and Brass patted the seat beside him. I slowly moved over feeling his arm come around me.

"Talk to me." He said

"There is nothing to talk about." I said

Grissom watched me play with some straw paper on the table.

"I know that you feel hurt about the wedding." He said

I sighed moving to stand up.

"I am hurt because of everything. If you want to marry her then do it, but don't expect me to be thrilled. As soon as you do marry her our relationship will end because you will do everything that she wants!"

I stopped looking around seeing people looking at me.

Grissom took hold of my arm, but I got it away walking out of the diner. Sophia came out seeing two stunned men at the table.

"What happened?" She asked

"Sara…. just…ran out." Brass said

"I'll go talk to her." Sophia said

"I think Jim should." Grissom said

Brass stood walking past Sophia. I sat on the curb at the corner feeling foolish. Brass walked over clearing his throat. I stood looking at him.

He looked at me silently for a moment. Sophia stepped out looking at us. I looked over at her then I tried to leave. Brass grabbed my arm.

"Woah! Stay here a moment." He said "I want to talk to you."

"I'm sorry, about everything." I said "I didn't mean it."

"I think you did." He said "You can't hide from me."

Sophia joined us silently.

"Honey, I need to talk to Sara." He said

She looked at him a moment then at me.

"Sara, I just want to say what ever your problem is you need to work it out. Your dad and I can only help you so much. Maybe you need a counselor or something." Sophia said

"Sophia, give us a moment please?" Brass said

She nodded walking away going inside. I looked at him feeling a pain inside.

"You better go in before she comes back out." I said

"She won't." He said

"I'm really fine. You should go eat and I'll just stay here for a few minutes."

"I am not done talking to you."

"We are done talking." I said

"What does that mean?"

"It means that this is the end. It means…" I said, my voice cracking as I looked down. "It means you have decided to marry her, and our relationship will be over."

"Sara, let me say here and now that our relationship will never be over." He said

I wiped my tears as he looked at me.

"Let's get in the car." He said, pulling me to his car.

"Grissom and Sophia are waiting!" I said, trying to get out of his grasp.

"We won't be long." He said

I got into his car and he got into his side driving us out of the lot. I sniffed rubbing my head as he drove. He stopped outside of his house getting out. I got out standing still as he walked over to his front door.

"Come on." He said

I walked over joining him. He allowed me in first then he came in switching on the light.

"Look around." He said

I looked around then back at him.

"Look at all the pictures I have." He said

I slowly walked around seeing nothing but pictures of me and Ellie in separate photos.

"I have many more in my bedroom. What I am trying to show you is that no matter what happens I will never take these down." He said

I nodded walking over hugging him. He hugged me feeling my body shake as I sobbed. He pulled me over to the couch holding me.

"I love you." He said, over and over.

His cell phone rang.

"Brass." He answered, as I moved away only to be pulled back against him.

"Honey, where are you?" Sophia asked

"I am talking to Sara at my place. You go ahead and eat with Gil then have him drive you to your place. Tell Gil I will bring Sara home."

"Okay." She said

He hung up kissing my head letting me cry. I stopped after a few minutes drained mentally. Brass rubbed my back as he put his feet up on the coffee table. I closed my eyes letting myself rest. Brass listened to the change in my breathing as he got his cell phone out again.

"Grissom."

"Hey Gil, I am going to keep Sara here over night. She just went to sleep."

"Is she all right?" Grissom asked

"She's just tired."

"That's fine. Just bring her back when you're done."

Brass chuckled saying goodbye then he sat back. I moved hearing birds outside. I felt warm and I wanted to sleep more. I moved feeling a body next to me. The person moved then stilled as their arm wrapped around me.

I breathed in a musk smell thinking it was weird that Grissom would be wearing musk. As I thought about this I went back to sleep. Brass moved his head on the pillow. He started dreaming when his cell phone went off making him jump. I moved groaning as the noise jolted me back to reality.

"Brass."

I moved slowly seeing him beside me on the couch. He touched my back as I sat up.

"Okay, I'll deal with that later. Keep me informed."

He put his cell phone down yawning as he looked at me.

"Hey."

"I slept here all night?" I asked

"You fell asleep." He said "You okay?"

"Yeah, I should get back home." I said, standing.

"I can make you breakfast."

"That's okay. You have done more than enough."

He got up hugging me then he drove me home. Grissom was still sleeping when I came in. I smiled climbing over him sitting on his waist. He woke seeing me.

"Hey." I said

"Hey." He said, stretching.

I leaned down kissing him feeling his arms come around me. I moved back putting my hands on either side of his head.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked, reaching up moving my hair.

"I am, but I still don't like Sophia."

"Your going to have to make peace with her."

"I don't think I can." I said

I laid down on his chest sighing as I looked to the side. He touched my hair.

Dad and Sophia asked us out many times after that to break the tense feelings. I tolerated them trying to be nice for dad.

One shift a month later Sophia, Grissom, and I were together driving through a fierce rain storm mile's outside of Las Vegas. Grissom drove concentrating as the rain made it almost impossible to see anything. Sophia sat in the front with him talking. I looked out at the darkness.

Grissom turned the wheel driving around a curve when a blur of trees and mud came down from the hillside on the left.

"Gil!" Sophia screamed

Grissom swerved to the right to avoid it. I held on feeling right side tilt at an angle down the hill.

"Hang on!" Grissom called

Another tree slid down hitting us causing the Tahoe to roll down the hill. I heard loud noises and screams then everything went black.

I faintly heard Grissom calling out Sophia's name then a loud noise.

"Sophia?" Grissom called, as he climbed over to touch Sophia's neck. He looked back at me seeing I was moving slowly.

"Sara, you okay?" He asked

I blinked seeing that Grissom had blood coming from his head. I looked around seeing that the Tahoe was like a crumbled piece of foil. We were right side up with mud covering myside. Grissom climbed out of his side coming around trying to open the passenger side door. He got it opened looking in at Sophia. He opened myside touching my head.

"Sara, what hurts?" He asked

"I'm fine." I said

He checked my eyes helping me out of the vehicle. I walked away throwing up as Grissom reached into Sophia. He moved her hair watching her move slowly.

"Hey, can you hear me?" He asked

She laid her head back on the seat looking at him.

"Sophia?" He said

"My stomach hurts." She said

"Okay, I want to look." He said, gently undoing her seatbelt lifting her shirt seeing severe bruising. "You have internal bleeding. We need to get you to the hospital."

She nodded as he looked back at me. I sat down on the ground holding my head.

"I am going to make a call. Hold on."

Grissom got his phone dialing 911. He walked over checking me then went back to Sophia. After the call he had me lie in the backseat putting blankets over us waiting.

"Gil?" Sophia called

He took her hand as she blinked looking at him.

"Will you….do something for me?" She asked

"Yes."

"Tell…Jim…I love him."

"Your going to be fine."

"No…. I am…dying." She said, winching as she moved her hand to her stomach.

"You just need to keep going!" He said

She slowly took off her engagement ring placing it in Grissom's hand.

"Give…this to…. Sara."

"Sophia, you're not going to die!" Grissom said

"Here…it comes!" She said

He watched her breathing hitch then stop. He looked at her in pain as he reached up closing her eyes. He looked down at the ring in his hand.

I moved as Grissom kissed my head. He smoothed my hair worried. The ambulance came taking me as Grissom was checked out. Brass came running towards the ambulance seeing Grissom with a bandage on his head.

"Sophia?" Brass asked

Grissom put his hand on his friends' arm.

"She didn't make it."

"Oh no!" Brass said

Grissom pulled him in for a hug. Brass shook against him unable to hide his tears. He climbed into the ambulance ten minutes later seeing me bandaged on the head and arm. He touched my cheek making me move seeing him.

"Hey baby." He said, gently.

"Is Grissom okay?" I asked

"He's fine."

"What about Sophia?"

Brass closed his eyes then opened them looking at me.

"Honey, she died."

I looked at him confused.

"Sir, we need to take her in." The EMT stated at the door.

"Okay." Brass climbed out shutting the doors behind the EMT.

He watched the ambulance go as Grissom walked over.

"Can you take me to the hospital?" Grissom asked

"Yes." Brass said

"Before we go I want to give you this." Grissom said, handing him Sophia's ring. "She wanted Sara to have it, but I think you should take it."

Brass looked at it in his hand then he looked at Grissom.

"Thank you." Brass said "Let's go."

I was checked out without serious injuries. Grissom brought me home the next day. I sat down on the couch looking at the coffee table. Grissom sat in a chair beside the couch touching my knee.

"It's not fair." I said

"I know." He said

"Why did she die, and I live?"

"Are you saying you should have died?" He asked

"I don't know. I feel like this was all wrong."

"Sara, if anything happened to you I would be a mess. Your dad would be to."

I moved hugging him. He pulled me to sit on him kissing me. I kissed him slowly then I put my head on his shoulder.

Brass worked through the grief. I walked over the week after slowly opening his office door. He looked up from his desk looking pale with dark eyes under his eyes.

I walked over to him touching his shoulder.

"Today is her birthday." He said, sadly.

I put my arms around him. He looked at his desk touching my hands.

"Come to dinner with me." I said

"I have paper work." He said

"Please?"

He nodded slowly.

"Great, meet us out front after shift."

He kissed my hand watching me leave. Grissom met me at the front desk after shift. Brass was standing outside waiting. We drove him to a restaurant half a mile from the lab. We sat down looking at the menus. After ordering I reached over covering dad's hand on the table. He drank from his glass of water looking at me smiling a little.

"The cases are starting get heavy." Brass said

"It's about time." Grissom said

"Dad, do you want to come over to the house and stay?" I asked

He put down his glass looking at us.

"That's nice of you, but I should go home." He said

"Your welcome to come. We have the spare room." Grissom said

"Thank's. Maybe another day."

I sighed looking at Grissom then down. We ate and went our separate ways. I stayed awake thinking about dad. Grissom moved seeing me getting my running shoes on.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"I just need to see dad." I said

"Sara, you can't just run all that way."

"I have before." I said

He sat up looking at me.

"You ran that far before?"

"Oops." I said

He sighed rubbing his head.

"You are not going!"

"Grissom, I am worried about him." I said

"You need to give him space."

"I just….."

"We are going to have a conversation soon about your jogging. For now, you need to get some sleep."

I sighed watching him lie back down. I gave in lying back down still unable to sleep.

The funeral for Sophia was on Saturday. Brass stood in a black suit next to Grissom and I at the gravesite. I looked at Dad seeing some tears go down his cheek. I traded places with Grissom taking his hand. Dad sniffed looking at me as I nodded to him. He looked back over at Sophia's casket. I looked over seeing Ellie standing behind some woman. I let go of dad's hand leaving my spot walking over slowly I reached over to her and she looked at me.

I pulled her out of the crowd and she went willingly.

"I am glad you came." I said "Dad needs us."

"I read about it in the paper. I am not staying." She said, looking back at the crowd of people.

"See dad. He needs you."

She slowly nodded as I touched her arm.

As people started to disperse Ellie and I walked over. Grissom moved as Ellie hugged Brass. Brass hugged her as if he were going to war. He cried against her shoulder as I stood behind her trying not to cry. Brass and Ellie decided to be alone and talk as Grissom took me home. Once inside the house I broke down. Grissom grabbed me holding me tightly in the living room. I clutched his coat needing him. He closed his eyes kissing my head laying his head on my shoulder. I calmed down moving back looking at him. He searched my eyes.

"Do you still love me when I freak out?"

His hand went to cheek.

"I love you no matter what." He said

I laid my head back on his shoulder closing my eyes.


End file.
